When I decided to study abroad in Botswana, I did not expect to date while I was there. I was excited to engage with locals of course, but dating was the last thing on my mind, with so many other activities to pursue. It turned out that I got along quite naturally with Batswana people from Botswana , and my social life grew quickly. Before I knew it, I was making tons of friends, joining school clubs, frequenting music venues… and yes, even dating. I found out that fulfilling the fantasy of a foreign romance is not as easy as movies have you believe, but it is a good way to learn about another culture. These are some of my experiences dating in a non-Western culture, but I believe they can apply to many types of relationships, especially cross-cultural. Dating can be complicated to begin with. It involves many subtle cues and nuances in communication. For example, cultures may have different signs that you are interested in being romantic. In America, getting alcoholic drinks with someone has a slightly different connotation than getting coffee.
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As South Africa moves into Level 2 of lockdown, online dating is still the preferred choice of many to find a romantic partner. Those Instagrammable pictures with filters that make us look so much better are not suitable because they are deceptive. It is therefore wiser to use normal pictures that are a true representation of how you look in person.
The same study suggests that the desire to appear likable or competent makes it more likely that someone will change their true self just to secure a partner. However remember that even though being desirable is normal, it is important to provide a truthful version of yourself.
You don’t need to date while traveling to learn about a place, but dating in Botswana gave me an insight into the culture that I wouldn’t.
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